Chapter 59:  Sticks and Stones

“How ’bout we make a toast?” Olivia asked.  She picked up her shot glass and the others followed suit.


“What are we toasting to?” Casey asked.


“To an awesome Spring Break full of fun, waves, and being with the girl we love,” Olivia said with a huge smile.


“Don’t forget hot sex!” Serena said.


“Hear, hear,” Alex said, clinking her glass against the others.  They all drank their shots and then she reached for the raspberry and vanilla bottles of Smirnoff.  “Hmm…I wonder what will happen if I mix these.”


“Yummy will happen,” Casey said matter-of-factly.


“Try the raspberry and green apple.  Your taste buds will explode,” Serena said.


“How about I try all three?” Alex said with a twinkle in her eye.


Serena laughed.  “That’ll work, too!”


Alex mixed them all together and downed her shot.  “Oh, I just had an orgasm.”  She looked at Olivia and grinned.  “Sorry, babe.”


Olivia threw some sand at her.  “Hey, I’m gonna have to kick Smirnoff’s ass!” she joked.


Alex’s stomach growled and everyone grinned.  She leaned over and grabbed Olivia’s arm.  “Sweetie, will you roast a hotdog for me?”


Smirking, Olivia reached for the bag of hotdogs.  “Figured you’d only want me for my roasting skills.”


“Oh, and a marshmallow, too!  I wanna make a s’more!” Alex added.


Olivia playfully rolled her eyes and said, “Ok.  But you owe me.”


Alex smiled slyly.  “You know I always pay my debts in full.”


“How many s’mores are you gonna eat, Alex?  You already had three!” Serena mused.


“Oh, I’m just warming up,” Alex said, winking at her.


“I, for one, am glad we got two bags of marshmallows,” Casey commented.


“Me, too,” Serena agreed.


Alex’s mouth dropped open in shock as she saw Olivia thrust a stick into a hotdog.  “Liv, use a wooden skewer!”


“Babe, we’re on the beach!  We should be one with nature,” Olivia replied.


“I don’t want bark in my hotdog and certainly not my marshmallow!  Besides, the skewers are clean.  That’s why I used them earlier.”


Olivia rolled her eyes and took a swig of her beer.  She took the stick out and threw it on top of the branches to burn.  “You’re such a girl.”


Alex smirked and handed her a skewer.  “Last time I checked, so were you.”


Olivia grinned and stole a kiss as she held the hotdog over the flames.  “If I’m not, then we’ve got big problems, my dear.”


“Speaking of problems…” Alex started, kneeling behind her.  She reached around to her stomach and began tickling her under her shirt.


Giggling, Olivia used her free hand to push Alex’s roaming fingers away.  “Hey, don’t tickle the cook!”


Serena laughed.  “Can’t we all just get along in perfect s’more and hotdog harmony?”


“Apparently not,” Casey replied.


Serena placed her head on her girlfriend’s shoulder and wrapped an arm around her waist.  “Well, I think we certainly can.”


Casey softly kissed the top of her head.  “I wish we could spend the whole night out here.”


“Me, too,” Serena agreed, sighing happily.  “Cuddling under a blanket, stargazing, waking up toge—”


“Oh my god, Liv, my hotdog is on fire!” Alex exclaimed.


Casey rolled her eyes.  “So much for being in the moment,” she muttered.


Serena laughed softly.  “I know.”


After blowing it out, Olivia said, “Alex, I was trying to get it to cook faster!  I wasn’t going to let it get burnt to a crisp!”


“I’m roasting my own marshmallow,” Alex announced, cautiously picking pieces of burnt skin off the hotdog. 


“Careful not to burn your fingers, sweetie,” Olivia advised, getting her a bun.


Alex smiled and quickly transferred the hotdog to it.  After taking a bite, she said, “Mmm…pretty tasty for something that almost became ash.”


“It’s supposed to have a smoky flavor, Alex,” Serena informed her.


“I know,” Alex said around her mouthful.  “But smoky does not equal burnt.”  When she finished her hotdog, she skewered a marshmallow and held it over the fire.


“Babe, stop holding the marshmallow over the flame like it’s a delicate little flower,” Olivia ordered.  She reached for the skewer but Alex moved her arm out of her reach.


“Mine is a delicate little flower,” she informed her.  “She cannot be burnt black.”


“At the end of the day, your marshmallow won’t taste any different from mine,” Olivia replied.


“Ha!  I beg to differ!” Alex said.  When her marshmallow was ready, she showed it to her and said, “See, Liv!  This is the definition of lightly toasted.”  She carefully slid it onto her Hershey bar and placed a piece of graham cracker on top.


“It’s funny how she’s so dainty about it all until it hits her mouth,” Casey said.


Olivia laughed as she watched Alex devour her s’more.  “Tell me about it.”  She wiped some chocolate from the side of her mouth and said, “Don’t wanna miss any.”


Alex sucked the chocolate from her finger and said, “Damn skippy.”


“Well, I’m gonna roast marshmallows for me and Serena the old fashioned way,” Casey announced, reaching for a stick.


Olivia high-fived her.  “Right on!”


Alex passed her the bag of marshmallows.  “Be my guest.”


Olivia roasted her own hotdog and took a few more swallows of her beer.  Alex grabbed the can out of her hand and took a sip.  Then she reached for the raspberry Smirnoff again.


“Alex…let’s mix it with Sprite or cranberry juice next.  You don’t want to be puking your guts out in the middle of the night,” Olivia said. 


Alex shrugged.  “Ok.”


Olivia mixed a shot of raspberry vodka with cranberry juice.  Alex downed it in one swift gulp.  “Oh, wow!  That’s delicious, Liv!”


Serena poured the same shots for herself and Casey.  “I agree,” Casey said.


A few minutes later, Olivia noticed that Alex’s eyes were getting glassy.  “Sweetie, you feelin’ ok?”


“I feel great!” Alex said, rising to her feet.  She started doing cartwheels.  “In fact, I feel like happy!”


“Like happy?  Oh, boy,” Casey said, shaking her head.


Each time she did a cartwheel, her skirt rose up all the way.  “Alex, we can see your ass!” Olivia exclaimed.


Alex tumbled into a heap on the sand and stretched out her arms above her head.  “The sky looks so dark tonight.  It’s sexy.  Does anyone think the sand feels like worms?”


Serena laughed.  “Alex is so drunk.”


“Yeah, I guess it just hit her,” Casey said.


Alex sat up and tried to pour herself a shot of green apple vodka.  Somehow more ended up on her shirt and the sand than in the shot glass.  Before she could tilt her head back, Olivia took the glass from her and said, “Baby, I think you’ve had enough tonight.”  She poured it out on the sand.


Frowning, Alex put the bottle of vanilla to her lips but Olivia snatched it away from her before she’d barely taken a sip.  Serena and Casey giggled as they watched the scene unfold.


“Livvie, give me back my drinkie!” Alex whined.  She giggled.  “I made a rhyme.  No!  Make that rhymie.”


“No,” Olivia said in a sterner tone.  “Any more vodka and you’ll be out all day tomorrow.”


“You just think you can drink me under the table,” Alex accused.


Olivia rolled her eyes.  “This isn’t a contest.”


Alex grinned and straddled her waist.  “How about if I take a shot of your cum instead?”


Casey and Serena’s hands both flew to their mouths.  “Did she just say what I think she did?” Casey whispered.


“Uh…if I’m not mistaken,” Serena answered.


Olivia turned beet red.  She quickly glanced at Serena and Casey and then back at Alex.  “Sweetie, I don’t think this is the appropriate time to have this conversation.”


Alex ignored her.  “You guys should…should see Liv when she comes.  I’m talkin’ waterfalls.  Almost drowns me.”


Olivia was starting to get angry.  She clenched her jaw and looked her in the eye.  “Alex, don’t say another word.”


Alex turned to Serena and Casey.  “She makes the cutest little face when she’s about to come.  I’m gonna take her home and fuck the spit out of her.”


Casey burst out laughing.  “Don’t you mean shit?”


Alex looked confused for a minute before replying, “Oh…um, that too I guess.”


Serena joined Casey in laughter, even though she saw that Olivia was not amused in the slightest.  In fact, she looked as if she were about to blow a gasket any minute.


Alex completely ignored the warning signs.  “My birthday was crazy.  Olivia had this big purple vibe and kept telling me how tight my pussy was.  Then she handcuffed me and whipped me with her crop while making me call her Detective Ben—”


“Um…way too much info,” Casey interrupted.


“Enough, Alex!” Olivia yelled.


Alex held her face in her hands and tried to kiss her but Olivia turned away.  “What’s wrong, Livvie?”  She reached out and grabbed her breasts.  “Hello, little pookies.  My, how hard you are tonight.”


“Pokies, Alex, pokies,” Olivia snapped, glaring at her and pushing her hands away.


“Pookies, pokies?  Who cares?  They’re making me horny,” Alex said.  She leaned over Olivia and sloppily tried to give her a hickey while sliding her hand in her shorts.


Olivia pushed her off her lap, stood up, and started walking away.  After taking a long sip from her girlfriend’s can of beer, Alex staggered to her feet and began to follow her while almost tripping and falling to the sand.  When she finally caught up with her, she grabbed her arm and said, “Why are y-you leaving m-me?”


Olivia yanked her arm away and kept walking. 


“Liv, stop!” Alex ordered, reaching for her again and missing.  She picked up her pace.  “Why are you ignoring me?”


Olivia turned around and screamed, “Because you’re acting like my mother!”


“Y-your mom’s a bwitch,” Alex slurred.  “I’m n-not.”


“And you sound just like her!  Slurring your speech!”  She began crying.  “I can’t believe you of all people would do this to me.”


Alex rolled her eyes.  “Oh, come on!  Like you’ve never been dwunk.  Stop whining and let’s just fuck.”  She leaned forward and lazily tried to hug her.


Olivia pushed her arms away, turned back around, and started walking again.  “I’m not putting up with this shit.”


“Fuck you, then!” Alex screamed, standing in her spot.  “I don’t need you!”


Serena touched Casey’s back and said, “This looks like it could get ugly.  I’ll try to divert an impending disaster.”


“You need backup?” Casey asked.


Serena smiled and gave her a quick kiss on the lips.  “I’ll call if I need it.”


“Olivia Benson, you come back here!” Alex shouted, balling up her fists.


Olivia kept walking and ignored her.  Serena walked up to Alex and placed her hands on her shoulders.  “Alex, stop making an ass of yourself.”


Alex yanked herself out of her grasp so fast that she would’ve stumbled to the ground if Serena hadn’t caught her.  “Liv’s the ass!  How dare she walk away fr-from me?”


Serena swung Alex around to face her and shook her shoulders.  “Stop!  You’re drunk and going to say something you’ll regret.”


Alex ignored her.  “You can’t control me!” she screamed at Olivia’s retreating back.  “I’ll wear what I want and drink what I want!”  She turned to Serena and draped her arms across her shoulders.  Grinning, she asked, “How about you, me, and Casey go sk-skinny dipping?”


Serena moved back to avoid the strong stench of the alcohol on her breath.  “How about we don’t.”


“Come on, Rena.  Then I can see if her carpet matches her drapes,” Alex said with a giggle.  “I hear firecrotches are in these days.”


Casey frowned and shouted, “Shut up, Alex!  You’re not being funny.”


Serena glared at her.  “Don’t you dare talk about my girlfriend that way.”


“What crawled up your ass and died?” Alex asked, wrinkling her nose.


“Funny, I could ask you the same thing,” Serena snapped.


Alex turned away from her.  “I’m gonna strip naked and find someone else to go skinny dipping with then!” she shouted loud enough for Olivia to hear.  “Maybe I’ll fuck ’em while I’m at it!”


Olivia turned around just as Alex reached under her skirt and tried to remove her underwear.  She cried even harder.  “I can’t believe you’re acting so slutty and mean!” she yelled.


“Believe it!  And there’s nothing you can do to stop me!” Alex shouted back while Serena pushed her hands away.  When she saw that she wasn’t going to be able to remove her panties, she tried to pull off her shirt and bra instead.


Serena continued to thwart her efforts.  “Alexandra Cabot, stop acting like an asshole!”


“You’re an asshole!” Alex retorted.  She stopped fighting Serena’s hands when she looked up to see Olivia glaring at her in the distance.  Olivia shook her head in disgust and turned around to walk away again.


Casey got up from her spot and ran after her.  “Hey, Liv…I know Alex is being a major bitch, but you have to understand she’s just really drunk right now.”


Olivia wiped away her tears.  “But she’s acting like my mom,” she said in a small voice.


“Sweetie, it will blow over,” Casey said, pulling her into a deep embrace.


As if she wasn’t already furious enough at the hug, Alex saw Casey brush Olivia’s hair out of her eyes and kiss her on the forehead.  “Oh, so you can hug her but not me?  Well, fuck you, Olivia fucking Benson!  Go to hell!  Casey, you can have her!” 


“Alex, shut the fuck up!” Serena shouted.  “She’s just trying to comfort her!”


“I can’t believe you’re letting Casey d-do that,” Alex said to Serena.  “She kissed my girl…girlfriend.  Soon they’ll be making out!” 


“It was a kiss on the forehead, Alex!” Serena snapped.


“Come on, Liv,” Casey said, taking her hand.  “Let’s leave her to yell at herself.”


Alex became even more infuriated at seeing them hold hands as they walked away.  She took off her ring and yelled at Olivia, “She can comfort you even more now that you’re single!  And when we get home, you can pack your bags and go right back to your drunken mother!”  And with that, she threw the ring at Olivia’s back. 


The ring hitting her back almost split Olivia’s heart in two.  She felt like it had penetrated her flesh and pierced directly through her heart.  It hurt more than the vicious words Alex had said to her.  It wasn’t that the ring had physically hurt her other than a small sting because of the distance from which it was thrown and the force.  It was the stabbing, emotional pain that resulted from an act so cruel and reckless that she never thought could come from the girl she loved more than life itself. 


She slowly turned around and collapsed to the ground in a heap of tears as she tried to retrieve the ring from the sand.  She wished she could sink right along with it.  “I…I spent all my savings on these rings,” she gasped between her cries.


“Oh, Liv…I am so sorry,” Casey sympathized, getting down on the ground to help her look.


Serena glared at her as Alex stood there stunned, not even sure why she had done that herself.  “Nice going, Alex!” she snarled.  She left her to stand there as she ran off to Olivia and Casey.


Alex’s lower lip started to tremble as the gravity of what she’d done hit her like a ton of bricks.  “Baby, I’m sorry!” she screamed as she tried to make her way to her.


Ignoring her apologies, Olivia pushed more sand away until she saw the ring.  Her body wracked with more sobs as she shakily picked it up. 


The sight of it broke Alex’s heart over and over again.  “What have I done?  Oh, god…” she cried as her eyes welled up with tears.  Each step closer to Olivia seemed like a mile.  Her legs felt like lead.


Serena wrapped her arms around Olivia while Casey soothingly stroked her hair.  “It’ll be ok,” Casey assured her.


“Yeah, Alex is just being a royal jackass,” Serena added, throwing another glare at her as she approached.  “I’m sure she didn’t mean any of it.”


“Yes, she did!” Olivia accused, frantically wiping her nose.


Alex stopped a few feet away from them.  “Liv?” she said cautiously.


Olivia couldn’t even look at her.  “Just leave me alone,” she said weakly.


Casey looked up.  “Alex, you’ve done enough damage for the night.  Just stop before you do more.”


Tears started streaming down Alex’s face.  “Sweetie, I really am sorry.”  She took a step closer.  “I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry,” she repeated.


“Alex!” Serena shouted.  “Just go.”


Defeated, Alex slumped her shoulders and started to walk away.  She’d never seen Olivia so crushed or her friends that angry at her.  Hearing the harsh words Serena and Casey had said hurt, but not nearly as much as the thought that she’d lost Olivia for good.  She couldn’t believe she’d been so stupid.


Serena looked at Casey and said, “I’ll see her back to her hotel room.  She’s so drunk she probably won’t be able to get her keycard in the door.”


Casey nodded.  “Ok.”


Serena ran up to Alex and grabbed her arm to steady her.  The walk back to their spot on the beach was silent.  She picked up her purse and handed it to her.  “Let’s go,” she said coldly.


Alex turned around and looked at Olivia one last time.  Their eyes happened to meet and the look Olivia gave her crushed her soul.  Olivia tore her eyes away and put the ring in her pocket.  All Alex could hope was that she wouldn’t take off her own ring as well.  She suddenly felt Serena tugging her away. 


Now, Alex,” she growled.


The night air, earlier just a cool breeze, now seemed to chill her to the bone.  As Serena led her back to the hotel, she felt like she was taking the biggest walk of shame she’d ever walk in her life.


“How could she do something like this?” Olivia asked Casey.


“Liv…people do shitty stuff when they’re drunk,” Casey said, rubbing her back.  “Alex might not even remember a thing come morning.”


“This was supposed to be our dream vacation,” Olivia sobbed.  “Now it’s just turned into a nightmare.”


“Well, look at it this way.  We still have an entire week left.  I’m sure you two will be back to normal in no time.  Don’t think of the whole thing as ruined.”


Olivia looked down at the ring still on her finger.  “I should just throw these in the ocean,” she mumbled.


Casey squeezed her shoulder.  “No, you shouldn’t.”


As much as she wanted to take off the ring, something inside her just wouldn’t let her.  She looked down at her necklaces and fingered the small jewels of the one she shared with Alex.  “Whenever I feel like my life is finally getting better, something always happens to make everything fall apart.”


“It is getting better,” Casey told her.  “This is just a little bump in the road.  You two are too strong and love each other way too much to let something like this permanently keep you apart.”


“I know I’ve done a lot to hurt her…” Olivia trailed off.  “So part of me feels like this was some form of subconscious payback.”  She sniffled.  “I guess I deserve it, huh?”


“No, sweetie.  You don’t.  But I think it was just the alcohol talking because she attacked Serena and me, too.  It can’t be payback because we’ve never done a thing to her.”


“Can I stay with you guys tonight?” Olivia asked, wiping the vestiges of her tears.


“Of course you can, sweetie,” Casey replied.


“Thank you,” Olivia said, giving her a hug.  “I don’t know what I would’ve done without you and Serena.”


Casey returned her embrace.  “Well, I know you would’ve done the same thing if the shoe was on the other foot.  Just think of it as returning the favor for you not letting me destroy my relationship at Alex’s party.”


Although she was still so hurt and angry with Alex and part of her wanted to remain that way, another part of her hoped they would make it through this.  She knew they’d experienced too much together to just have it all end now.  She pulled back and asked, “Do you really think we’ll be ok?”


Casey smiled.  “With the two of you, I know so.”