Chapter 30:  Hope

Olivia scooted into the booth across from Elliot.  “So did you get Alex to talk to you?” he wondered.


“Yeah,” Olivia replied.


“How’d it go?”


“About as well as can be expected…she said she can’t be with me right now.  Hurts too much,” Olivia said, looking down.


“I’m sorry, Liv…”


“Yeah, me too…but the good news is that she agreed to at least be my friend.  Although she told me to wait a week.”


“So you think there’s a chance of you two getting back together?” Elliot questioned hopefully.


“She said she needed time to heal.  I asked her how long…”  Olivia shook her head.  “So there’s no telling.  I told her I’d wait forever if I had to.”


“She loves you, Liv.  Love that strong doesn’t fade easily.”


Olivia felt a small smile cross her face.  “I sure hope you’re right, El.  But I’m afraid that one day she’s gonna wake up and just decide that loving me isn’t enough.  That I hurt her too much to give me another shot.”


“Just give her time, Liv.  And don’t try to rush things.  She’s not gonna get over this easily.”


“I know,” Olivia said frowning.  “Seeing her cry again today just ripped my heart open.  And then Serena let me have it.  As if I didn’t already feel shitty enough.”


“Wait…Serena was there when you talked to her?” Elliot asked.


“No.  Not at first.  I waited around for Alex to get outta tumbling and at first she didn’t wanna talk to me, but I begged her to listen.  I told her to look me in the eye and tell me again that she hated me and she never wanted to see me again.  She told me she couldn’t.  And…I had a little special help with holding her attention.  You know how Saturday you were saying I might have to do something drastic?  Well…I kinda did.”


Elliot’s eyes got wide.  “Oh god Liv, what did you do?” 


Olivia gave him a goofy grin.  “I wrote ‘I love Alex Cabot’ on my tits and showed her.”


Elliot burst out laughing.  “Oh my god, Liv.  You did not!”


“Yeah.  I really did.”


“What did she say?” Elliot asked.


“She told me to pull my jersey down before someone saw.  And I told her that if she didn’t listen to me I was gonna get it tattooed on them and show everyone, including Cragen and Munch.”


“Well, Liv.  I guess that was indeed drastic.  When all else fails, flash her your boobs.”


Olivia smirked.  “Hey well, she’s always loved my boobs.  The next time I may write her a sonnet on them.”     


“Man, you are crazy, Liv,” Elliot commented, smiling and shaking his head.


“That’s what she said.  I told her she couldn’t get rid of me that easily and that if she went off to boarding school, I’d just get a scholarship and follow her,” Olivia replied, smiling.


“Nice, Liv.  Tell her you’re gonna stalk her no matter what.  I’m sure her dad’s big shot lawyers would love that one.”


Olivia laughed.  “Yeah…it lightened the mood a little.  She began listening to me.  I told her everything.  Why I was so scared of coming out, why I decided to hook up with Nick, how much I loved her, how I couldn’t live without her, and how I was much more afraid of losing her than being outed.  I told her I could take the world hating me but I couldn’t take her hating me.  I begged her to give me another chance and she told me she needed time to heal because it’s gonna be hard to trust me with her heart again.  I swore to her I’d go back in time and erase all the pain I caused her if I could.”


“Sounds like you guys are on the road to recovery,” Elliot said, leaning back.


“I’d like to think that.  But I don’t wanna get too excited.  Don’t wanna jinx anything,” Olivia said, placing her hands on the table.


“So are you really comfortable with coming out now?  I mean…would you hold hands with her walking down the halls?”


“I’ll streak through the whole school screaming I love her if I have to.”


Elliot laughed.  “So you’re gonna stand by her during the crossfire?  If it comes that is.”


“I’ve been given a once in a lifetime opportunity to have her in my life again and I’m not gonna blow it.  I promised her I won’t run away again.”


“Good.  So, um, how did Serena get involved?” Elliot asked.


“Well…Alex and I went to the locker room and a few minutes later, Serena comes in looking for her.  She sees me with her and gets all up in my face, telling me to stay away from Alex and how she’s not gonna let me hurt her again.  I tell her to get out of my face and that I’m not gonna hurt Alex and she says, ‘How are you able to fit Alex into your busy dick-riding schedule’ and that’s when I just lost it.  So I shove her—hard.  She shoves me back and starts calling me trash, a coward, so I slam her as hard as I can into the lockers.  Then the bitch grabs my hair so I scratch up her face and backhand her in the mouth.  I’m just about to punch her right in the nose when Alex grabs me and starts pulling me off her.”


Elliot looked at her in shock.  “Are you serious, Liv?  You’re trying to patch things up with Alex and you almost break her best friend’s nose?”


“She started it Elliot.  Then she starts telling me how much I hurt Alex and about all the times she had to comfort her because I made her cry.  She accuses me of being cruel and selfish…and I hate to admit it but I guess I had been.  But I tell her I love Alex more than anything and I’d die for her but Serena doesn’t believe me.  She said if it was up to her I’d never see Alex again.  Alex tells us she doesn’t want us fighting anymore then Serena tells her she’ll wait for her in the car.  So I apologize to Alex for fighting Serena and Alex asks me if I’d ever hit her.  I tell her I’d rather die first.  Then she makes me promise I won’t fight anymore of her friends.”


“Wow, Liv.  You sure have a way with the ladies,” Elliot joked.


Olivia smirked.  “The really good news is that she told me she still loved me.”


“Was this before or after you attacked Serena?”


Olivia smiled.  “Both.”  Then she frowned.  “Elliot, I don’t know if I can wait a whole week before talking to her,” she whined.


“Liv, don’t mess this up.  Give her her space, ok?”


Olivia looked up with excitement in her eyes.  “Maybe…maybe I can still leave her little love notes in her locker until Monday, though.”


Elliot regarded her sternly.  “Liv.  I’m serious.  You’re gonna scare her away.  Besides, she wants to be friends first.  Love notes are a bad idea right now.  Just leave her alone.  A week’s not that long.”  Seeing Olivia’s sad face, Elliot teased, “Man are you whipped, though.”


Olivia grinned.  “I guess I am, huh?”  Just then, their pizza arrived and each took a couple slices.  Suddenly, Olivia became worried again.  “You don’t think she’s gonna renege on her offer, do you?”


Elliot tried chasing a long strand of mozzarella.  “No,” he finally answered, swallowing his food.  “She loves you too much to just let you go forever.”


Olivia grinned.  “You sure know how to cheer a girl up, El.  I can see why Kathy keeps you around.”


He grinned back.  “Yeah, I guess I am good for something.  You know, I always thought about being a cop but maybe I should become a relationship counselor.”


Olivia smirked.  “Hey now.  Don’t get too ahead of yourself.”  She smiled and leaned over to ruffle his hair.  “You’re a great friend, you know that?”


“Yeah well, you’d do the same thing for me if the tables were turned,” he replied warmly. 


Olivia smiled wider and munched on her pizza, her thoughts drifting to the future she and Alex were going to have.